The other day I phoned my wife to tell her that I had to discuss a very important issue with a friend. We’re quickly going to have coffee in town. That’s all I said, but I could immediately hear that she wasn’t finished. She had more to say. And she had a lot to say about having to pay for coffee when we could just as well be having coffee at home.

And my response?

Well, my love, you know coffee doesn’t cost that much and it’s an important issue we have to discuss and you know, darling, you and I can have coffee tomorrow …

No, that is so far removed from what really happened. I wish that was the way that I responded, but no, I immediately blew a gasket. I said nothing. I didn’t even say goodbye and simply put the phone down. And I let my friend know that because of unforeseen circumstances coffee would be served at home.

The rest of the day was colder than cold in our house. We tried to avoid one another and when we accidentally met we glared at one another with narrowed eyes. It wasn’t nice. Nobody was happy and the energy being spent was destructive.

That is not the Lord’s will. Someone else is behind this and worst of all is that he succeeds in breaking up relationships because we cannot deal with some or other flaw inside us.

Yes, I think this is a flaw we all carry with us. No, it did not form part of man’s original design, but sin means that some of us cannot control our emotions.

That is why we have to be on guard. We must know that the emotions can flare up quickly. 26Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry.  Do you see it says: “You do well to be angry”? It means that anger is a reality and that you will experience it sometime. Some more than others. We can’t do much about anger. But we can do a lot about the way in which we react.

Look, when emotions grab hold of us, everything kicks into operation. The tongue rages uncontrollably. The voice goes into a higher gear. The hands and arms start waving about. That is what we must control. Before the blood starts heating up we must start talking to ourselves. As if talking to the dog we must say softly, no man, lie down. Yes, some will have to talk louder, but one way or another we have to control those anger manners, because we mustn’t say things we may later be ashamed of or regret.

And if we did become angry? Quickly blow off steam. Don’t let the anger thing fester under the duvet. 26… Don’t go to bed angry. The anger festering under the duvet steals all our energy and all that remains is a frozen relationship – without warm love relationships eventually die.

The devil knows what the weakest place in our armour is and zooms in on it. Therefore: 27Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

Don’t even leave a crack open in your relationships. Know what your flaw is. Make plans to cool down the blood quickly and rather turn away and say nothing. Come back later when the storm had quietened but sort everything before going to bed. It’s a waste to allow anger to steal love’s warmth for even one more day.

Scripture:

Ephesians 4:17-32

Reflection

How quickly do you fly off the handle?

How can you deal better with your reaction to anger?

Can you agree never to go to bed angry?

Prayer

Father, I realise I get angry sometimes. I realise my blood sometimes boils too quickly. Lord, please help me to control my reaction to my emotions. Please help me that we’ll never go to sleep angry with one another. Amen