I get goosebumps over my whole body as I listen to Elana’s (not her real name) story:

My husband and I were married for almost 30 years when my daughter discovered that my husband was planning to marry another woman. While we were still married!

Shortly after that I found out that the cancer in my breast had spread and that I had eight tumours on my spine. Where I had suffered from grade 1 cancer I now suddenly had grade 4 cancer. Worst of all was that I had to go through this without any support from my husband.

On the contrary, many hard words fell between me and my husband. He wrote off our eldest daughter and she wrote off her dad as well. I was still extremely angry at my husband and to forgive him was not an option. 

Our business was in my name and I made sure that he had no drawing rights. Briefly stated, he was bankrupt and had no business and no money. I had the business and all the money. I wanted to teach him a lesson and hurt him the way he hurt me!

I continued in this way for two weeks until God brought me to a standstill and asked me if I was happy with this state of affairs. Had I achieved what I set out to achieve?

I thought about it and found that the hurt was still there. But I knew that God wanted me to go in another direction.

I contacted my husband and apologised for what I had done. He had never apologised to me for hurting me so much. I cried as I told him that I forgave him for what he had done to me, but that I wanted a divorce. I gave the business and all the money back to him.

My two daughters, especially the eldest, could not understand how I could forgive him for what he had done to us. I told them of my conversation with God and also that God had told me that He had forgiven all my sins, so how could I not do the same with my husband/their father. 

I forgave him unconditionally. 

I started praying that my children’s relationship with him would be healed. It was a very difficult time with many recriminations from both sides. Sometimes I thought it would never come right.

Praise the Lord! Now my husband and I are the best friends ever. My two daughters have a better and stronger relationship with their dad than ever before. 

I have been single for three years now and still have grade 4 cancer, but I am happy because I’ve had an awesome journey with my God. Many days I couldn’t go on, and then He carried me. In these past years, I’ve learnt that you can do anything if God is with you.

Elana understood this command and lives it: ¹⁵And be careful that when you get on each other’s nerves you don’t snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.

And you?

Scripture

1 Thessalonians 5:12-15

Reflection

Who do you have to forgive?

How must you do it?

Have you asked the Holy Spirit to help you?

Prayer

Lord, I struggle to forgive. I cannot do it on my own. May your Holy Spirit please help me to do so. Amen.