James wants to show the readers how to act wisely. Wisdom is so comprehensive that he needs eight words or concepts to describe it. We have already considered the first two: wisdom is acting without ulterior motives and loving peace. The third one is to be agreeable – a word that is not so easy to understand.

Perhaps I should first tell a story about a woman who is not so agreeable.

When we are in the Kruger National Park, we get up early every day, especially when we move to the next camp to find a good site to set up camp.

So, we arrive at Lower Sabie nice and early and find a good site surrounded by vegetation where we can work comfortably, without any disturbances from the neighbours. Right next to the campsite is a nice, cool parking space for the Ford.

I put down our ground sheet there while we fill Faantjie, the caravan’s water tanks, so that someone else can’t slip in there in the meantime. As I push Faantjie in, the neighbour shouts from across the road that the parking space, that’s the one for the vehicle right next to our camping space, is for their bakkie and we shouldn’t put our bakkie in there.

Renata and I look at each other with wide eyes, the wind from our sails. Fortunately, we say nothing. Anyone can see that the parking space actually belongs to us. However, we are big enough and let the aunty take her course.

The Ford sleeps in the road for two nights.

The auntie is undoubtedly not agreeable. She is not gentle or flexible. Even less tolerant, tame or accommodating. No, actually somewhat aggressive and certainly not obliging. All these terms are synonyms of agreeable.

When you act wisely, your own self gets out of the picture and you focus on the other person. The other person’s need is more important than yours, and you look for ways to make it enjoyable for the other person.

You can only get it right if you are gentle, which is also part of being agreeable. It is precisely from the word gentle that gentleman is derived. A gentleman or lord is courteous, polite and respectful. He says please and thank you and waits his turn in the line. He treats people with respect.

When we are wise, when wisdom mobilises our actions, we always act like a gentleman. Let’s try our best not to pull on the boxing gloves, especially when we are hot under the collar or harmed, but rather be a gentleman because it is wise.

¹⁷Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings …

Scripture
James 3:17-18

Reflection
Where do you need to be more accommodating?
What else should you do?
What should you not do?

Prayer
Father, I would always like to act wisely. I want to be a Christian gentleman or lady, but I don’t get it right. Help me with Your Spirit to act right, so that others will see the only true Lord. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.