My wife has been away for a whole week to finish her book in silence. We were so happy to see one another and when we realised that the children were busy with their interests, we decided to go and have a quiet dinner in town.

After dinner we walked down Church Street to get a good ice-cream for dessert. And suddenly, right in front of one of those restaurants with tables on the sidewalk, she decided that she wanted to walk on the opposite side of the street.

Surprised I came to a stop. I couldn’t understand where she was going with this. So I made an unnecessary comment: “Have you lost your mind?” She said: ”No, I don’t want to walk past there. I feel as if I’m walking on a runway!”.

With many question marks in my mind, I walked on the other side, between her and the people, pulling her along.

Apparently not the right option, if I read that sulky look right.

As we went around the corner into the next street, I again came to a stop. You see, on both sides of this street lots of people were sitting on the sidewalk. With the wrong smile on my face I asked: “So where shall we walk? In the middle of the street among the cars?”

An enjoyable romantic evening down the drain.

I thought long about why this happens. Neither of us planned to mess up the evening. Neither of us sat down and calculated if the monthly quota for arguing and fighting had been used up. On the contrary, neither of us experiences such a mess as positive.

Somewhere in the grumbling afterwards my wife mentioned something about me not noticing her needs. I didn’t want to admit it then. I thought she was foolish and that was it. However, there was a lot of truth in her statement.

Most people argue because we don’t give one another space. We don’t see the other person’s needs. Actually, it’s all about the self and what I want and don’t want.

And the problem grows and grows. Now it’s no longer about me not wanting to walk with her on the other side of the road. Now it’s about me not acknowledging her needs, not wanting to sacrifice something for her, just about me thinking only about myself and much more.

And all of it could have been avoided. The answer is actually quite simple. Just walk across the road! So easy and no mess developing into a storm.

And that’s the answer to most arguments: Just walk across the road. Step into the other person’s world and leave your own, because actually it’s not about the walking, but recognising the other person’s needs. Give up a piece of your own world and walk across to the other person’s world.

There will be less arguments and fights. The world will be more enjoyable. The world will see Jesus and will want to walk with – across the road.

⁶… It’s important that a church leader … be looked up to … not short-tempered, … not a bully …

Scripture
Titus 1:5-9

Reflection
Where do you clash with others?
Do you sometimes walk across?
What can you do differently?

Prayer
Father, please help me to clash less with others. Pease help me to hear and see their needs. Please help me to walk across to them. In Jesus Name. Amen.