Sometimes in my life I’m uncertain. Times when I doubt whether I believe correctly. My thoughts run around in circles and spiral down to a place where it feels as if my faith has in a sense left me.

At times like these I feel as if I’m barking up the wrong tree and I end up thinking, “What if I’ve got the wrong end of the stick and God doesn’t really exist…?”

This usually happens when I listen to people talking about us humans wanting and trying to be perfect. Then we picture this perfect human being in our minds that we strive to emulate. And then we call that perfect human being God.

I think this is what the philosopher Kant proclaimed and in my first year Philosophy class this nearly destroyed my faith.

Have your thoughts ever spiraled so out of control that you’ve wondered whether God really existed?

At times like these I think about the way my dad believed. He first studied to be a teacher and then packed up and went back to university for another seven years of study. Because God had called him to go and preach the Word.

When my faith is lower than the ground and I can almost feel it slipping away, I remember our minister when I was in high school. He was also a teacher when he heard God’s calling. He is living his calling with his guitar in his hand, and at 71 years old, Jan de Wet is still performing all over the country.

When I look back at the spiritual leaders in my life, I cannot do otherwise but go back and pick up the pieces of my faith again. To me, their lives are an example of how to hold on, keep going, and keep believing. Then I sink to my knees and thank God for these lighthouses in my life. I thank God that their lights are still shining when darkness falls over my life.

Now this verse makes a lot of sense: ⁷Appreciate your pastoral leaders who gave you the Word of God. Take a good look at the way they live, and let their faithfulness instruct you, as well as their truthfulness.

I can imagine that the people to whom Hebrews had been written had also wondered. When their lives were in danger and many were killed for their faith, they had to be sure that they believed correctly and that they trusted in the right Saviour.

Therefore, the suggestion that they look at the spiritual leaders who had gone before them.

My experience is that this is a great help, because numerous times the example of these spiritual leaders in my life had gotten me back on the bridge. And back on the bridge, I pray and ask our Father to help me to live in such a way that one day someone who is struggling to believe and trust, will be able to look back at my life and say, if he could do it, I can and will too.

May this be true of your life …

Scripture
Hebrews 13:1-8

Reflection
Do you sometimes struggle to believe?
Do you have spiritual leaders that you can look up to?
Do you look?

Prayer
Father, thank you for the spiritual leaders that You’ve sent my way. Thank you that when I’m struggling to believe and struggling to trust, I can look up to them and how they live and know that You are there. Help me to also be a light like that for others. Amen.