God's word in today's world

Forgive to forgive


Adrian (not his real name) told me this touching story:  

Cast off that yoke from your shoulders. Get rid of the stone and resentment in your heart. 

On Saturday 16 May 1970 we went to the Skyview drive-in theatre in Kuils River. On the way back, near Polkadraai, we were in a head-on collision caused by a drunk driver and both my parents died. Me and my brother and sister went to live with my grandmother in Pretoria. 

I carried hatred in my heart towards the reckless man who chose to drive under the influence of alcohol. At first, I felt like I wanted to kill him. Later I realised it would serve no purpose, and I felt like punching him. I held a grudge against him. 

In 1999, I attended a few Word in Action camps. Here I learnt that what you focus on overwhelms you. I also learnt that God has already forgiven us for all that we’ve done. I learnt that I must also forgive other people. I learnt that I must forgive God. 

The thoughts about forgiveness kept running through my head. I’ve forgiven other people, but I still had a grudge in my heart towards the man who killed my parents in the accident. I realised I needed to find him, but where and how? 

God’s puzzle is different from what we expect. We went to say goodbye to my wife’s friend who was moving away. That’s when I met her husband for the first time. He asked me where I was from. When I told him about my parents and the car accident, he went white and said the man was related to him by marriage. 

I attended an Amos project event and again forgiveness was discussed. Then I realised that I would have to work on the resentment in my heart. 

I contacted my wife’s friend and told her that I wanted to meet the man who had caused the accident. 

Of course, it was a shock for him, but he agreed. 

Yes, the meeting was stiff. I wrote the man a letter because I knew I wouldn’t be able to speak without my voice shaking or crying. In it, I told him that I forgave him and that I also came on behalf of my brother and sister and my whole family. 

He responded positively to my actions, expressing gratitude as he had also been burdened by what had happened to us. I was able to assure him that we had good lives and professions. It was redemption and relief for both of us. 

That day I was able to leave my bitterness in the hands of the Lord. It was a big burden off my shoulders. I find it difficult to understand how someone could claim they can never forgive another person. They don’t know what they’re doing to themselves. 

9… He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. 

If God forgives all our sins, how can we not forgive those who sin against us? 

Scripture
1 John 1:5-10 

Reflection
Do you believe that Jesus died for all your sins?
Has someone done something to you that’s hard for you to forgive?
What must you do to forgive like Jesus? 

Prayer
Father, it’s not easy to forgive. Amen. 

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