Many people struggle a lot in life. Some have financial problems. Some have just heard they no longer have a job when the new month arrives. However, people struggle the most in relationships.

It’s as if the devil knows exactly where to hurt us. He comes with a small hammer and keeps hitting. It hurts more and more until you simply break and fall apart.

We are privileged that often people come knocking on our front door, be it the one here at home or the virtual one. Usually, they are broken and unable to take one step further in life.

Then someone shows up at our door. Emotionally broken. Mentally broken. Physically broken. We are happy to help, but sometimes you don’t know what to do. Both have had enough time to boil over and become empty, but now it is time to give direction.

Usually, we first see the parties separately to hear each one’s story. The story has two sides every time because it just depends on which glasses you look through.

When the woman sits here, her story sounds like the truth, the only truth. When the man tells his side of the story, you believe it, but the two versions are opposite.

I then realise I’m not able actually to say anything. Who is right, and who is wrong?

In times like these, I get down on my knees and ask God for wisdom. Wisdom to be impartial. Wisdom not to take sides and perhaps overlook the truth.

Many times, friends or family come to us for help, and because there is a deeper thread running through our relationship, we want to take sides. We want to help the friend, and when we want to help from their point of view, we take their side. The advice we give then may not be so wise.

Often, we are the only person our friends or family members will listen to. Our advice will motivate them to do the right thing. But then, our advice should not come as we stand in their corner, but rather where we stand in the middle, without taking sides.

In the middle, one can see better. One can see both sides. In the middle, God can show us how to act, how to help, and how to point both in the right direction.

If you want to be full of wisdom, you can’t help but be impartial.

¹⁷Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced.

Scripture
James 3:17-18

Reflection
Who should you help?
How do you go about being truly impartial?
What should you say?

Prayer
Lord, I would like to act wisely in all circumstances. I want to help my friends, but sometimes I don’t know what to do. Yes, I know I’m taking sides. Please give me the wisdom to act right. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.