As you are reading this piece, 20 women in America are being physically abused by their marriage partners. Not to mention the women who are being verbally abused. One in four women and one in seven men have been victims of serious physical violence by an intimate partner. 

If you have four married male friends or seven married female friends, chances are one of them is orchestrating the destruction of their spouse.   

Shocking!  

As a friend and I were driving to the Southern Cape, I talked to him about something that was weighing heavily on my heart. One of my friends was making a mess of things and I was wondering if I should say something. My friend was clear: Friends have a responsibility towards each other to help and assist each other, but also to point out when they mess up. 

Especially in marriages. Of course, whether my friend will accept my intention to help him remains to be seen. I wonder if our friendship will stand the test if I tell him what he’s doing is not right. On the other hand, do I really want a friend who does not accept my help when he is doing something wrong? 

The assignment is simple and actually not difficult to live: 7The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground. 

Just as the encouragement for women in the previous sections also applies to men, this encouragement to men also applies to women. Let your actions bring sunshine and not thunder. 

An announcer on Bokradio always ended her programme with: It’s lekker to be human, just be a lekker human being! Yes! When you behave well in marriage, when you always treat your partner with kindness and respect and are not rude, you contribute to a pleasant living environment. 

A healthy marriage sends healthy children into society. Marriage is the greenhouse where children are taught to maintain a healthy balance and to live respectfully towards fellow human beings. 

Of course, the opposite is unfortunately also true. 

Unnoticed we allow holes to appear in the walls of our marriage. We stuff our paycheques with stop orders that go off relentlessly every month. Then we are forced to work harder and harder and spend less and less time at home. 

We allow the devil to torment our emotions and for every speed bump in the marriage, stuff falls out of the pot until one day we wake up next to a stranger in our bed. For some, that is sometimes reason enough for each person to walk, or rather stumble, down their own path. 

No, man! And woman. Let’s take the bull by the horns. Stop your nonsense and treat each other with kindness and respect in your marriage. Don’t become part of the statistics. Just be a lekker human being! 

Scripture
1 Peter 3:1-7 

Reflection
Where are you not behaving correctly?
Where should you spend more energy?
Is there someone you know you need to correct? 

Prayer
Father, I really want to be a lekker human being to others. I want to make others laugh and feel good about themselves. That’s what I’m going to do from now on. Please help me with that. Amen.