I received an email from Janet (not her real name): 

At the age of 11, my little girl was sexually molested by her stepfather in the house while I was sleeping. I also have a 7-year-old son from this marriage. 

The road we’ve been walking for the past 6 months since she told me about it has been the hardest thing we‘ve ever been through. I immediately kicked him out of the house. We reported the matter to the police. He was arrested four days later and released on bail two weeks later. 

She regularly goes for therapy at the Teddybear Clinic. The case keeps being postponed. I had a breakdown at the end of January, was admitted to a “wellness” clinic, and am currently receiving treatment for depression. The divorce case is also taking just as long because he‘s opposing the divorce. 

This man is not a stranger. He was my husband and still is the father of my son. He has accepted and raised my little girl as his own since we got married! 

How do you forgive in such a case? 

Forgiveness is not an option when something cuts so deeply and people’s lives are ruined forever. How can it be an option? When the Word of God then says the following, it becomes even more difficult: 8Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything. 

The original Greek word actually says that you should cover up other people’s sins. Love removes other people’s sins from the picture. It doesn’t come into play. Love allows people to live in harmony, even if both mess up. 

Maybe Francis’s story (not her real name) will help us get closer to this challenging instruction: 

My husband and I are on our way to pick up our son from the rehab center. We had him admitted last year after a very long road with the drug monster. 

The emotional, physical and verbal trauma we’ve been through has forced us as parents to take that drastic step. 

I can share with you that my mother’s heart is filled with gratitude because, following the conversation with our son, I am convinced and can testify with certainty that we’ve forgiven him for everything! 

Because who are we not to forgive him when God forgives us every time? 

I suspect it’s love that makes this possible. Love takes other people’s flaws out of the picture. Love probably makes you realize that you also have holes and need others’ forgiveness too. Love is the glue that binds us together and gives a boost in the direction of forgiveness. 

  Still, when it cuts so very deeply, it’s not so easy, and, therefore, we have to say again: “So help me God.” 

Scripture
1 Peter 4:7-11 

Reflection
Is forgiveness an option for you?
Do you need help with forgiveness?
Who should you forgive? 

Prayer
Father, You have forgiven me and no longer see my sins. For me, it’s not that easy. Please help me climb this mountain. I beg of You, in Jesus’ Name. Amen.