When people have done something to do you, it’s not easy to simply forgive and move on as if nothing had happened. When someone has offended you, forgiveness is not necessarily on your to-do list. On the contrary.

I suspect this is one of the biggest reasons why Paul is writing the letter to Philemon. He wants Philemon to take back the slave who had upset him so much. But to do that, Philemon first has to walk the road of forgiveness. And that’s not so easy.

¹⁷ So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me.

Onesimus had done a very bad thing. We don’t know exactly what he had done, but what we conclude from the letter, is that he had not only ran away from his owner, but had also stolen from him.

Onesimus ended up where such people mostly eventually end up – in prison. Where he met Paul and was led to give his heart to the Lord. God turned him around and forgave all his sins. Onesimus became a new person.

Now it’s up to Philemon to decide. And isn’t that exactly how it usually goes in life? The one who suffered a wrong, the one who didn’t do anything wrong, ends up with the difficult part: to forgive the one who did wrong.

How often do we hear about cheating spouses who come back and ask for forgiveness? And the one who had suffered so much pain, the one who had been humiliated, sits with rivers of tears and a mountain of forgiveness in front of him or her.

It’s not easy. It’s a hard road where you have to tear off a piece of yourself. There must be no thought of retribution and getting back at the person and trust and hope must be restored.

Sometimes it’s just too much to ask.

Paul suspected, maybe from experience, that it would be difficult for Philemon to forgive and take back his absconder-thief-slave. So, he asks Philemon to see him as a friend and no longer as a slave. Onesimus is now a brother in Christ, and who would want to turn his brother away?

Often the pain caused by the crimes of others is indescribable. It takes a long time to heal. Sometimes, no, actually most of the time, it never heals completely. A scab remains, a scab that opens up regularly.

Maybe you have such a scab. Maybe you can’t take the way to forgiveness. And without talking too soon, I would like to ask you to go and sit at the feet of our Father and allow Him to help you with his Holy Spirit to walk Jesus’ way of forgiveness.

Then you will be relieved of the heavy baggage you carry and joy will come knocking on your door again.

Scripture

Philemon 1:15-20

Reflection
Where do you hurt?
Where do you struggle to forgive?
What do you have to do differently?

Prayer

Lord, it’s not easy to forgive. Actually, it’s impossible for me to forgive and forget the way You have taught me and expect from me. I know it’s only possible when You help me to do it, please, Lord. I long to follow your example and to forgive the way You forgive me every day. Amen.