During my quiet time, I got a message from my wife asking me to think about a friend and her husband who had an appointment with a psychologist. Their marriage was hanging by a thread. 

A thread so thin, that the man said he didn’t want to continue.  They were done, reasoning it’s time to go their separate ways. I pray for a miracle. I pray that the man will realise his role as the head of the house. I pray that God will show Him what role he really has to accomplish in marriage. 

So many women suffer in their marriages, because men no longer know their role in marriage. I wonder if this is the life out there where you can just demand, and then your desires show up at the front door? 

What I am certain of is that marriages are not doing well. It’s as if the devil got the upper hand and swung the scoreboard in his favour. It is generally accepted that half of marriages end up in the garbage dump like a broken toy. 

Most of the applications to end a marriage are initiated by women. 

With this picture in mind, the following assignment is not easy: 4Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. 5Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” 

And what if the man doesn’t take the lead? What if he stays away from home as long as possible and the woman must take the lead, otherwise everything in the family falls apart? 

I’ve stood by women who were a complete mess because they alone had to hold the steering wheel. At some stage, they simply can’t do it anymore and just let go of everything. 

Men must man up! Men must live in such a way that women want to follow their lead. A man must be a fortress for his wife so when life gets too hard, she can hide under his arm. 

I know I’m on dangerous ground here, but I see marriage as a haven where husband and wife serve each other. A fortress where both women and men are protected from the attacks of the world. 

Marriage is not a power struggle where you try and see how you can outwit each other. Marriage is a place where spouses motivate and mobilise each other to achieve more. 

Today, a healthy and growing marriage is not necessarily an obvious result and taking it on alone is not a good plan. To play our roles effectively, we need help. Therefore, to enjoy a successful marriage like Sarah and Abraham, we should find assistance and resources. 

The Holy Spirit is our most powerful ally. Allow the Holy Spirit into your marriage and follow Him. Serving one another will be so much easier as well as creating a safe place for everyone.  

Scripture
1 Peter 3:1-7 

Reflection
How is your marriage doing?
Where is the devil taking the lead?
What do you have to give up? 

Prayer
Father, You know that we husbands do not always take the lead in our marriages. Help us to make it easy for our wives to take refuge with us and accept our guidance because we follow Your example. I ask this in Jesus’ Name. Amen.