Why do we find it hard to correct others when they do wrong? Why don’t we like doing it? I always say I’m made for love; conflict isn’t part of my make-up.

When we get hurt, defence mechanisms kick in and we put ourselves first, rather than the other person. When we want to correct someone in circumstances like that, it’s easier to give them some hard talk rather than correcting them softly and with love.

When Paul teaches Timothy how to correct others, we see that it must be done very, very carefully: ^1-2Don’t be harsh or impatient with an older man. Talk to him as you would your own father, and to the younger men as your brothers. Reverently honour an older woman as you would your mother, and the younger women as sisters.

At one time or another, we all have to take responsibility to correct someone else. But before we can do it, we need to earn the right to do it. We can’t do wrong and then want to correct others. We must be an example of doing the right thing.

We shouldn’t correct others when we’re angry. We shouldn’t punish the person with our words, because they will not listen and chances are there will be a misunderstanding. When emotions are running high, rather take a deep breath and postpone the conversation to a more appropriate time when emotions quieten down.

It’s not always easy to do. My wife and I use a code word when one of us wants to take time out to calm our emotions. Then, later on, the one who asked for time out must come back and continue with the conversation – without all those emotions. Often the solution is then easier to find.

There will always be opportunities at work or among friends where we can correct others. The secret is to do it in such a way that the other party is not belittled. Remember, all of us always think we know what is right. We have to help one another to see the other side as well.

We must understand that it is not always easy to change direction when we’re well on our way to a specific objective. Often the objective is to win. Therefore, when we need to correct someone, we must do it with sensitivity and compassion. Tomorrow it is us sitting with a problem that needs to be resolved and then we need the help and assistance of a friend.

As softly as you will talk to Grandpa or Grandma and ask them please not to be so stubborn, as softly as you will speak to your mom or dad about family matters that need to be addressed, as softly as you will speak to a brother or sister about a lack of love, as softly we need to help people at work, our friends, and even strangers, to walk the right road.

The test lies in whether the person still feels good about himself or herself when we walk away. They must be positive about the change that you suggested and excited to try it. We correct people well when they respect us and feel up to trying again.

Scripture
1 Timothy 5:1-8

Reflection
Who do you have to correct?
How must you do it?
Do you feel up to it?

Prayer
Father, I realise each of us has a responsibility to show one another when we’re losing our way. It’s not easy for me and I don’t always know if I have the right tools for the job. But I know I can do it if you go ahead and hold my hand. Amen.