Years ago, I received an email from Annie. A glimmer of light came into her dark world. She wrote: 

You just saved my life with the email. I wanted to take my own life. I didn’t have the strength, but I read the email anyway. I believe it came directly from God. Thank you very much! 

I lost my second job this year. The people we rent a room from want us to move. I don’t know where to go or how to get there. I’m a good Christian woman who still has so much to give. Everyone is turning their backs on me. 

A few years later, I knocked on her virtual front door again and asked how she was doing. The sun had risen in her life and was shining brightly:  

Thank you so much for asking about my well-being. I have an incredibly great testimony to share. I’m doing better than fine, thank you so much. I’ve been through a lot of hardship since my email to you. Looking back, I can’t believe that I’m still here after all those bad experiences and suffering. 

God’s love and grace saved me. If I hadn’t been obedient, I would probably be gone by now. God had to teach me to trust Him fully, to let go and to let God. 

I went to church counselling and was prayed for by a woman with the gift of deliverance. During that time, deep spiritual wounds from my childhood were revealed, wounds inflicted by my parents’ alcoholism and emotional neglect, which affected me in countless ways. 

I was also raped by my sister’s husband when I was 14 years old. That destroyed my young life. I carried that secret until I was freed from it. I started drinking to put a band-aid on my wound – of course, it made everything worse. 

But now I’m free! I kept praying and calling out to God. He delivered me from the world’s influence in every way. He prepared me to work for Him even though I wanted to cry over everything I had lost. He never gives up on us. When He calls you by name, you are His! Forever! 

God’s grace and love are too great for me to understand. I don’t even deserve it. When I think about what I’ve done. My shame and pain, guilt are gone. After all, Jesus paid the price for my sin. 

We often let things from the past hold us back from truly living. Sometimes it’s the guilt we carry for our own mistakes, and other times it’s the unforgiveness we hold onto for what others did to us. Then we fear God and we want to hide. However, there is another life planned for us: 

21And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God! 

This is actually a command. We must diligently ensure our past does not confine us but rather allow us to move freely towards God’s designed destination. 

Scripture
1 John 3:18-24 

Reflection
What fills your conscience?
What guilt holds you back?
How can God help? 

Prayer
Father, the weight of my past is pulling me under. I believe You have already paid the price for them. Guide me with Your wisdom and direct my steps towards freedom. Amen.